Since I can remember I’ve always felt differently about myself and about reality. It was as if I didn’t fit into this world. The other kids at school were talking about stuff that just didn’t interest me. I often felt lonely and alienated. I only had one or two friends, but never belonged to a tribe. Others were playing soccer and gathered in there free time. I practiced Martial Arts and meditated for and by myself.
My biggest Idol was Bruce Lee. Knew all his books and movies and trained very hard to becomethe next Bruce. In the martial arts classes I was the youngest and already leading a group of older students. When I turned sixteen I discovered a new passion; basketball. Following Michael Jordan, Dennis Rodman and Scottie Pippen helped me to make it through my youth. My mother and sister thought I was gay since all I was interested in was playing basketball. I wanted to be someone. I didn’t want to live a ordinary life. I didn’t want to work and do something which didn’t make any sense to me. Then at twenty, I had a surgery on my left foot, so my basketball career was gone. This was a very heartbreaking and terrifying moment for me. What next?
I was fighting hard against a normal life. I had a job as a salesman but only worked at seventy percent of my capability. EmotionalIy I wasn’t able to work one-hundred percent or I would have gone crazy. When I was about twenty-three years old I have found myself in a deep depression; unhappy and restless. I needed something else. I wanted more of life.
So I decided to go to Mexico. I had always been drawn to ancient cultures. In Mexico I had found the perfect place. The incredible Mayan and Aztec cultures triggered something powerfully within me. Again, I started to pick up my hunger for altered states of consciousness, creations of reality and wisdom. In addition, I met many great friends.
When I was back in Switzerland I took another unfulfilling job behind a computer. I was so angry, frustrated and depressed... yet again! I knew something had to change but I didn’t know how. Somehow I had the idea of being a fitness/personal trainer. But I didn’t have any certifications and there weren’t a lot of possibilities in my city. Most gyms were already full with trainers anyway and the payment was shitty.
I started to use what I had learned in Mexico, the power of my mind. Instead of looking for a job I started to create the work I wanted. Soon enough I had found a job as a part-time fitness trainer working only from 5pm to 10pm. Later, I realized it still wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to help people; not just sell memberships and clean the gym. (I guess I hadn’t been specific enough when I visualized it!)
Then I did a Google and search for other options. I knew I didn’t have to reinvent the wheel. Finally I found some Personal Trainers from the states who ran Bootcamps, had lots of money, and even more spare time. At that time, about seven years ago, there was nothing like it in Switzerland.
I told my best friend what I wanted to create and he said he was in. So we started putting a group together and training them. All the people around us, even close ones, were discouraging us and advising against it. They said, “The economy is bad, people won’t pay for that.“
We stuck to our dream and our vision to help people. Very soon people were running in and wanted to get trained by us. It was time to build our very first company: D&R Performance was born. Very happy and passionate with what we were doing, running a thriving business with my best mate and helping others to be in the best shape of their lives.
A few years later I went through a big change. I didn’t know what exactly was going on, I just felt I was changing. I started doing things differently. From picking up lot’s of women, reading stuff about magick, fighting in a cage, eating vegan to learning tantra massage and salsa dancing. Then I met my beautiful girlfriend who was a very important part of my transformation. She helped me to accept myself for who I am, to let go of my hard shell and to open up my heart.
The relationship to my best mate started to change about that time. He didn’t understand what I was doing nor what I was going through. I didn’t even know what was happening to or for me. I closed myself with my best mate, presupposing he wouldn’t understand me.
I went to Peru and did Ayahuasca Ceremonies and that was when I realized I wanted to help people on a deeper level. I wanted to help people waking up. I was going through a lot of fear, pain, tears and lots of purging. It was the time I started to go from a boy to a man, started to slip out of my cocoon. I realized I didn’t want to live that superficial lifestyle anymore.
At the same time my best mate and business partner was going in the exact opposite direction. It was all about him, his appearance, getting wasted and partying. It felt like I was loosing my best friend whom I loved deeply and looked up to like a role-model. There was just no connection between us anymore besides the business. Even there I felt the need to create something more meaningful for me. It was a very challenging time.
I started to realize that the way of a warrior can be lonely because you are walking the way of your heart. It’s almost like something is pulling you toward a certain path and that path is one nobody has walked before. Therefore, a lot of people just won’t understand what the fuck you are doing.
That's why when you are on your way of waking up, or to empower yourself or any transformation to have someone on your side to support and guide you. I wish I would have had a coach on my side when going through a transformation. Nowadays I know better and I have powerful coaches that are supporting me.
Now, at this time in my life, I feel that I am in another transition. A transition to become aware of my power. A transition to step into my greatness. I recently had a vision of not helping people to wake up rather, a vision where I would be creating leaders and role-models and help them to step into their own greatness. Leaders who are already on the path of a warrior. Someone, I don’t remember who, said, “Leaders create more leaders,” and that is my deepest vision.